i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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