She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
