I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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