she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
