Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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