We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
