Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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