Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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