You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you win again, gameday.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
