Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize