He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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