I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize