haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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