My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
