His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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