i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
