if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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