Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
