so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
