one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
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