just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
