this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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