I think i peed on brittanys purse
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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