oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
