I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
bring money and cleavage
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
