I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
