Just cropdusted the office
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
