Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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