Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
