When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
