Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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