There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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