So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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