maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize