Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
