physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
