"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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