he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
