We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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