why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
