hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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