Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
