he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
