we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
