I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
