This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
