She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Ketchup is God's man juice
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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