You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
