The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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