You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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