I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
