ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
