Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
