No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
