I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
