the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize