Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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