You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just invented taco cereal.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
