he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
